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I went on a visit today. My path led to a nursing home, a modern construction, designed to be airy and breezy, pleasing to the eyes and senses. One might have thought I stepped into a motel chain. As I sat with my friend. her body and face spoke of the grim journey she’s been on.
She looked like a scare crow. She was skin and bones. Except for the incision which was pink and swollen. She still radiated the happy openness of a hippie flower child. But her face had aged with pain and disease. She told me the story of her collapse on the side walk in the parking lot. In her semi-conscious state, she could hear and see (?) the tap tapping of her friend’s pink stiletto heels as her friend left her job at the nearby bank and rushed to her side. And then she felt the hands that picked up her head and placed it into the lap of a little pink skirt that went with the pick stiletto heels. The voice wearing pink told someone “Call 9-1-1.” My friend had just vomited blood that was a bright, vibrant red. A voice in the ambulance asked her questions. She was weak and could barely talk. But the gruff voice said ”I can’t hear you. Louder. Louder.” He was fighting to keep her conscious. He was fighting to keep her alive. Later, a surgeon removed one whole organ and pieces of four others, touting success at removing the cancer she never invited to live with her. The cancer that grew despite the chemo. The cancer the oncologist said was inoperable. My friend, led by her disease, walked though hell. And my friend is fighting to take back her life. As we sat together, she talked about traveling to Hawaii, camping and walking in the forest along the river. I believe in Miracles. I find myself wondering and arguing with myself; do her present, hopeful thoughts feed her cells providing an instruction guide for how she wants them to evolve? But her cells became cancerous. She had never provided them with that instruction. She is home now and on the long road of healing and returning to Life. Her painful journey, her brush with death reminds me that Life is way too short. And we should use our time to Love. Love each other. Love Life. Love our selves. We live on this beautiful planet and every day we live, death comes a little bit closer. Pursue Love, my friends. Appreciate every day, every moment of your life. It’s just too damn short.
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