The Joy Report: What to do on days when things aren't going so well

I will be honest with you, not every day is a joy filled day. It’s an erroneous notion that one should live in ecstatic joy all day long and every day. That’s just not how life is meant to work. One of the Buddha’s main teachings is: “Life is suffering.” I didn’t understand that statement when I first heard it. But after many years of attending "Life’s School of Hard Knocks" I recognize the truth behind “Life is Suffering.” When I look at my own life and the lives of the people around me, I see suffering everywhere. And when suffering shows up in one’s own home and heart, it can be overwhelming.
 
As a coach, I find my clients often encounter overwhelm in their lives. The following is a note I recently wrote to an overwhelmed client:

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When life is spinning seemingly out of control, 
When our thoughts and emotions are quaking
as though a great wind is blowing through our lives, non stop;
what is important is to slow oneself down inside.
We may not be able to control the world outside ourselves.
But, we can control the world inside ourselves.
Rather than, allowing the world to ravage our soul, consider:
What is important to do right now? 
What little corner of the universe can you tend to? 
Consider this practice: One breath. One step. Repeat.
One breath. One step. Repeat.
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​There are actually two pieces of advice I want to highlight here. One of my favorite and latest mantras is:

​“Slow it down. Slow it way down.”

​What that means for me is this: When I am feeling overwhelm for any reason, when my mind starts racing and leading me down painful paths, when the amount of work in front of me is a large, demanding stack, I start slowing down the energy in my body. I want to feel my body. I want to ground myself. I don’t want to feel the urgent need to do something, anything. I don’t want to follow my mind as it flies off in crazy directions. Slowing down the energies in my body and by focusing on feeling my body, helps me to slow down my mind and allow myself to sort out what is going on within me and outside me. And then I get to make a choice as to what to do next. It can be about taking a nice big breath and considering what is there right in front of me to do right now. What is my next small step? I may still be in overwhelm but by harnessing my awareness into my body, taking a breath and then a next small step, I have some control over myself rather than being controlled by the feeling and circumstances of overwhelm.
 
And then there is writing in my Joy Journal at the end of the day. No matter what kind of a day I have had, and I have had hard days on my Joy Journey, when I sit down with my journal at the end of the day and ask myself “Where was the joy today,” I always find something to report. I find that joy is sprinkled throughout my days like stars in the nighttime sky even when I am having a bad day. Joy is there, you just have to notice it. Here is an excerpt from my Joy Journal dated April 29.

Where was the Joy today?
Joy was in the brilliant cerise colored sky at evening.
Joy was in hanging my clothes out to dry.
Joy was in the fragrance of the wisteria.
Joy was seeing the setting sun light the top of my neighbor’s pink dogwood tree.
Joy is nature.
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​I am amazed to discover the simple things that give me joy. Sometimes there are the firework type experiences and sometimes it’s in the simple things. I also find that when I am having a major download of joy in my heart, I take the time to slow down, notice and savor the feeling of joy within me in that moment.
 
As my friend Arwen Lynch Poe says: 

“Seek joy y’all.”

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🌸 Peace and Love 🌸
​Janhavi

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